Knowing one would have only a year left in his life is grace, when people die without them doing the things they would have done, telling sorry's and I love you's they would have said, going to places they could have gone, if only they knew, or at least felt, it is time to go.
So here's my list of what-to-dos and what-to-accomplish if I had only a year left. READ: I am going to be realistic. I wouldn't list things as if I were in the movies. No riding gondolas, no touring of Paris. Nothing I cannot afford (as of this writing.)
• I will fly kites. I've never flown kites. I've never even attempted. I always watched. So before I die, I'm going to fly a kite on a windy afternoon. It's going to be a big one – mighty, so to speak.
• I will go shopping til I drop. Literally. Only that time, I will not do it for myself but for the people I will leave behind. Because you see, as I will be asleep waiting for the coming of my Lord, I wouldn't need much. Unlike you who'd be working so hard living minute after minute, day after day, I believe you will need much more than I will do.
• I will lead more than one discipleship group. I will share to as many people as I can how unlimited the goodness of my God is. I will bless as many as I can with my life's testimony, because even in the minute of my death, I will breathe His grace. Countless seeds will be planted and they will be part of the great harvest.
• I will write a short but powerful book. I will immortalize my ministry, that decades after my passing away, the Spirit in me still shines.
• I will mount a big Kids' Day. I will do what I love to do – teaching children. (It's really great that when He endows one with a gift, He gives a heart to fuel it.) There will be outpouring of the Lord's love for the children through me, as I know I will not be able to have my own given my limited time left.
Whew. I think this is a yearful of a life. With these big things I want to do, I don't think I can fit more activities as the flesh so desires. Except with this one last.
I will fall in love again. Yes I will pray for it. I will be with someone again. I will take care of him, prepare his meals, arrange his things, pick his outfits. I will argue with him, watch the stars, pray for and with him He'll let me sleep on his shoulders because I'll be physically tired after all my activities. For all those times it will dawn on me I just might not have any tomorrow, he will not cry. He will show his strength and hold my hand. And when I go, he will tell the world how great our love has been.
It is not scary to die – only when you know that as you lived, you stood in the center of God's palm.
